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Saying Goodbye Is So Hard To Do

By March 24, 2013 No Comments
This post is not about food storage, and is somewhat personal. This past week has been full of beautiful experiences and sorrow for me. My daughter’s mission call came and she opened it on Wednesday. She will be going to the Chile Santiago North mission. Our family is very happy for her decision to serve. However, with all of this excitement, I forgot to be concerned about my dog.
I knew something was wrong with Abby earlier in the week because she stopped eating. When she wouldn’t rise from her porch pillow to come when I called, I knew something was very wrong. She has always tried to please me, and this was extremely unusual. I tried not to worry hoping she was just dealing with arthritis and age.
By Friday, she wouldn’t drink water and she was trembling. Inside I knew that if I took her to the vet, she would not be coming home with me. I just knew. I could tell by looking in her eyes that she did not feel well, and I sensed she was fading. I decided to tell my 8 year-old about my concerns, and she tearfully said goodbye to Abby before I drove her to school on Friday.
All morning I struggled with taking Abby to the vet, but I knew as I looked into her eyes that she was suffering. It is always so difficult to do this as a dog owner, and I didn’t want to do it myself. But no one else was home, so I lifted her and put her in the car.
When the vet looked at her, without hesitation he said I needed to put her out of her misery. She had a huge abdominal tumor and her heart rate was twice as fast as normal. He said it would be the best thing for her to let her go. I knew inside that he was right, but it wasn’t the best thing for me. I decided to stay with her, and they sedated her. She lay her head against my foot, still needing to be near me. Then they put her to sleep. As she took her last breath, I said goodbye to my friend. It really hurts.
Later that day, when I explained to my youngest that Abby was gone, we just cried and cried. I am surprised how much this hurts me, but she was a good dog. A friend to anyone. Extremely patient and loyal. It is hard to look out on the porch and not have her look up at me. Her dog emergency kit hangs in the closet next to her collar and leash. When I come downstairs to let her out in the morning or in the evening, I feel empty. All of those tedious chores we wish we didn’t have to do, are now things I miss.
I know that animals were placed here on earth to teach us how to serve and love. They teach us patience and about true commitment. I am grateful they were created for our benefit. I will always miss my friend.

Valerie

Thank you for your kind thoughts and comments.